paradox

i am the happiest sad person i know.

i am the nicest mean person i know.

i am the cleverest dumb person i know.

i am the laziest ambitious person i know. 

i am the strongest weak person i know.

i am the luckiest unlucky person i know.

i am the bravest coward person i know.

i am the prettiest ugly person i know.

i am the most confidence insecure person i know.

i am the most optimistic pessimist person i know.

and my life— it is the sweetest bitter thing i know.

the distance between us

the distance
it's just a space between us
we can cut it down with our love
turn the miles to centimeters

the distance
cannot ruin us
not even when it conspires against us
not even when it breaks us apart
not even when it separates us

the distance
it doesn't mean anything
compared to our love
it means nothing
when you mean everything to me

the distance
it is just a test
to see how far our love can really go
because through it all
our love will remain real and true

monsters inside my head

it's getting colder

and so is my heart

it's getting dark

and so are my thoughts

i hear voices

calling out to me 

calling out for me

they're getting louder

there are monsters

not under my bed

but inside my head

they say they're hungry

they keep screaming loud

sucking the air out from my lungs

squeezing my heart till it almost stops

they're tormenting me

and they will not stop

until i stop breathing

...

it's been a month

since he told me that he loves me
and he has given me

a million reasons why he does

but i still can't believe it

and won't ever believe it

because why would anyone love me

when i can't even love myself

all the things they said

coward

lame

weak

loser

worthless

they said to her

slut

whore

hoe

scum

she laughed

but it broke her inside

fat

ugly

stupid

freak

and she started to cut

she thought she could control herself

but she couldn't

she couldn't take this pain

she couldn't handle this world anymore

she gave up

tears streamed down her cheeks

blood streamed out her veins

....

....

....

....

beautiful

smart

pretty

lovely

they said at her funeral